Утреннее Солнце

Morning Sun

Законченный Вариант

Editing: Final Version

По Дороге С Работы

On My Way From Work

И Снова Утро...

Another Day of Wonders

Синева Утра

Blue Morning Light

Вечерний Свет

Afternoon Light

Monday Images - II

It felt like spring this afternoon when I got off work...

Monday Images - I

Exploring Insecurities-Part III

Once in while I witness something (be it an idea about myself or the world around me, a feeling, an emotion, a fear, an insecurity) that I thought had been long gone, forgotten, worked thru, let go of surfacing in my mind, consciousness, everyday life once again. Not only surfacing but also for however long taking over my life: "Hello! Remember me??? I am ba-a-ack!” What I experience instantly is a profound disappointment, a sense of hopeless-ness - “here we go again… and I thought I had dealt with it… and what is the point in all the practices, meditations and exercises aimed at addressing this or that if it doesn’t go away?.. if keeps popping back up over and over again… if years later I feel like I am back to square one – again!?!” What occurred to me this morning is that IT (whatever it is I am facing / having the need to address at the moment) is not what I addressed 5 years ago, having spent half a year in an ashram meditating. Triggered by a different set of circumstances, what I have encountered and am experiencing now is a different aspect of IT. In a way, IT becomes/is a totally different entity that needs to be addressed and as such it allows me to snap out of “what-the-point-if-it-keeps-coming-back” place and actually welcome it onto the surface and into my everyday life. Knowing the full extent of IT, studying it behavior, so to speak, observing my own behavior and responses caused by the presence of IT, allows me to promptly attend to it. Because at the end what I see myself be is all what I have the potential to be, without leaving any territory uncovered, without shying away from anything that might get in the way of me actually experiencing who I really – already – AM. “Man is asked to make of himself what he is supposed to become to fulfill his destiny.” Paul Tillich

Танцовщики

Dancers: Faux Lith Print

Артист Балета

My Brother Is A Dancer

Petrov Ballet

Exploring Insecurities-Part II

How irrational my thoughts and fears were in that instant! How irrational our thoughts and fears are in general when we go insecure!.. For one, what I was experiencing at that moment had nothing to do with the creative process itself - my "what if's" weren't triggered by what I was printing/working on and what I was writing. Secondly, did I mention how irrational my "what if"s sounded? Surely, there is at least one person out there who would look at my images and would think "Hmmm... I like this... I like this very much! I really would like to have a print..." Thirdly, and most importantly, I had to remind myself of the reason behind my shop on Etsy and this blog: both were created as a part of my next step - "as you apply the next step is given". And that reminding and, as a result of it, remembering served as a parachute that stopped me from hitting the bottom hard. I had to remind myself that we are all (or should I say "most of us" - to play it safe, in case there is someone out there who never felt that way?) prone to once in a while experiencing the excruciating need for other people's approval - "what would they think of us?" "what would they say about us?" "are we or what we do good enough in their eyes?". We want to be liked, we want to be accepted - it feels good... I don't think there is anything wrong with the feeling itself as long as we don't compromise our integrity. We would do that if/when we stop being who we are and start behaving in a way that would please others. We would do that if/when - out of fear that it wouldn't be socially acceptable, that we look ridiculous, we stop and never follow our calling, never take the next step... They say that the best way to address the recurring nightmares is to make yourself -while dreaming - stop running away from the Monster. Just stop. Then slowly turn around and look the Monster in the eyes... It appears to be that the eyes we will see will be our own.

Exploring Insecurities-Part I

Once in a while – pretty much always unexpectedly – I would experience the bouts of insecurity, the bouts that like depression make me feel like dropping whatever is that I am doing in the moment and going into hiding – somewhere in the corner of a darkened room or even in the closet. Sometimes, the urge is literal – I physically want to do it, sometimes it is symbolical – I am paralyzed and there doesn’t seem to be anything that will make me continue… There is always a trigger – subtle or not so subtle, a trigger I might be (or might not be) conscious about. I was in the middle of the printing session yesterday working simultaneously on a draft for one of my listings when it just occurred to me that there are billions of incredibly talented people on Etsy and as inspiring as that is within and of itself, the fact remains – I experienced what can be best described as shrinkage: feeling little, almost non-existent, in thinking “what if nobody – ever – notices my work?” “what if nobody – ever – likes my work enough to purchase it?” Now, I don’t know what your experience with “what if’s” is like. For me, once a couple of “what if”s is thrown at me, or rather, once I allow a couple of “what if”s enter and stay, then I’d better be bracing myself for a free fall that would inevitably follow with tens of “what if”s zipping through my mind at lightening speed. And when it is finally all over – I find myself in the corner of closet (once again, literally or symbolically). So, how to address something like this? What is that teaching me? What am I learning? What makes me come out of the corner at the end? Oops, running late now – must go... (To be continued…)

Нитка Жемчуга

The Gliding Pause

I have been working on these two images for a couple of weeks now and - finally - it seems like - I have arrived at creating two prints I am satisfied with... I can simply look at them instead of carefully examining them in search of "what else needs to be tweaked one way or another", instead of feeling an urge to touch up here and there, or - better yet - to burn everything to the ground and to start all over from scratch. In all honesty I don't think that either Bluefeather or Junior care to be around me when I am working: I would drag them over, show them two or three prints and ask them which one of the prints they prefer. They would stare at the prints in silence and finally announce that the prints in question look exactly the same or - maybe - maybe - there is this very subtle difference "in that far left corner" and then they brace themselves for my lecture as to what is different and how much it is different and that between two prints usually there is at least-an hour-of-sitting-in-front-of-the-monitor difference... In all honesty, I wouldn't like to be around myself either when I am working... God bless them for their patience and understanding... Will update the shop in a few minutes and be ready to move on... ... Oh, how much I love the feeling of emptiness, inner nothing-ness that reminds me of the gliding pause between two breast strokes - one motion/project has been completed, the next one hasn't started yet...

"Early in the Morning"

The picture for Sara

Portfolio: Darya Gavroff

"The need to discover a creative aspect within oneself is commonly found among people regardless of their occupation. Creativity as such is a state of being, a way of looking at and relating to the world around, a journey within towards realization of one’s deepest potential, a never-ending conversation with God."   "I was born in St. Petersburg, Russia, in the artistic family: my grandfather was a writer, my mother was an artist and my father – a doctor by trade – wrote poems and short stories. My aesthetical views were formed under the influence of my family. The formidable beauty of the city I grew up in as well as the annual excursions to the old Russian cities and distant villages played a considerable role in an awakening of my artistic vision. I studied drawing and painting since I was a kid, graduating from the city art school. I also was incredibly interested and well read in psychology, literature and history. When the time came to pursue a higher education, I chose the department of Art History and Theory in the St. Petersburg Academy of Arts."   "After moving to the United States, I received Bachelor’s Degree in Desktop Publishing and Web Page Design and spent a few years working as a freelance graphic designer for several companies in New York. A few months spent in France shaped and refined my present artistic goals and aspirations: the remarkable collections of Edgar Degas’ works exhibited in the museum of Orsay revealed to me the beauty and expressive opportunity of pastel and I fell in love with this medium."   "This revelation helped me through one of the hardest periods in my life when - after an accident - I was home bound for several months. I spent days in a chair drawing flowers that people kept bringing me with a set of pastels given to me by my husband. The revelations kept following one after another – I got to experience the liberating sense of freedom despite the lack of physical movement, the joy and inspiration that made me forget about physical pain; I got to realize that it is never too late to begin – once again – the journey within searching for that hidden (yet perceived so clearly at an early age) potential that defines who and what I am."

Нитка Жемчуга

String of Pearl

Portfolio: Michal Giedrojc

© Michal Giedrojc

Ballons © Michal Giedrojc

Tyre © Michal Giedrojc

 

On Providence

Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative [or creation] there is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would otherwise never have occurred. a whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one's favor all manner of incidents and meetings and material assistance which no man would have believed would have come his way. Whatever you think you can do or believe you can do, begin it. Action has magic, grace and power in it. Goethe On the will of Providence assisting our efforts

Чудо-Цвет

"Miracle Child"

Деревья

Trees

Появление

Emergence 

"Emergence" 2000 (from "Reflections")

На Океане

By the Ocean

The Cup

...nothing can be more abstract, more unreal, that what we actually see. We know that all we can see ot the objective world, as human beings, never really exists as we see and understand it. Matter exists, of course, but has no intrinsic meaning on its own, such as the meanings that we attach to it. We can know only that a cup is a cup, that a tree is a tree.  "On Art" Giorgio Morandi

Vigil

Утро. Улицы.

Waynesville Streets

С Новым Годом!

Happy New Year!