Exploring Insecurities-Part II

How irrational my thoughts and fears were in that instant! How irrational our thoughts and fears are in general when we go insecure!.. For one, what I was experiencing at that moment had nothing to do with the creative process itself - my "what if's" weren't triggered by what I was printing/working on and what I was writing. Secondly, did I mention how irrational my "what if"s sounded? Surely, there is at least one person out there who would look at my images and would think "Hmmm... I like this... I like this very much! I really would like to have a print..." Thirdly, and most importantly, I had to remind myself of the reason behind my shop on Etsy and this blog: both were created as a part of my next step - "as you apply the next step is given". And that reminding and, as a result of it, remembering served as a parachute that stopped me from hitting the bottom hard. I had to remind myself that we are all (or should I say "most of us" - to play it safe, in case there is someone out there who never felt that way?) prone to once in a while experiencing the excruciating need for other people's approval - "what would they think of us?" "what would they say about us?" "are we or what we do good enough in their eyes?". We want to be liked, we want to be accepted - it feels good... I don't think there is anything wrong with the feeling itself as long as we don't compromise our integrity. We would do that if/when we stop being who we are and start behaving in a way that would please others. We would do that if/when - out of fear that it wouldn't be socially acceptable, that we look ridiculous, we stop and never follow our calling, never take the next step... They say that the best way to address the recurring nightmares is to make yourself -while dreaming - stop running away from the Monster. Just stop. Then slowly turn around and look the Monster in the eyes... It appears to be that the eyes we will see will be our own.